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Our Current Virtual Church Message

Top Secret Progress Report Regarding The Spread Of The Soul Virus

Who We Are

We are the controllers. We control forces and people. Our time is about to come to fruition and we are preparing the world. We need followers to join us in our quest for world domination and world control. Followers will be given special immunity in every respect. As a group, we have been in preparation for centuries. To finally gain control, we have let loose a silent and deadly virus upon the soul of men and women. The virus has been customized so it only works on some people and only works on them according to our command. As a follower, you need not worry. Your every want and need will be fulfilled if you join us.

Our Leader

We have a maximum leader. The man is beautiful and full of power. He will rescue you. You do not need to be afraid of him. Whatever you want, he will to deliver to you. Our maximum leader already has many followers although this man has not revealed himself in a visible form.

Background

Our soul virus has been working for centuries. The virus has been lurking in the hearts of men and women and is now ready for a final mutation. Our soul virus is a beautiful thing. The virus is designed to bring all people under our control when the final war for souls begins. The soul virus will protect anyone who is willing to worship the maximum leader and who is willing to be on our side when the final war for souls is waged.

Strategy

Our strategy has been and continues to be an approach to slowly work our way into what the world thinks is holy and righteous. We have never subscribed to the idea of some kind of mass extermination to get rid of our enemies because we want the soul. By staging an open attack on the holy and righteous, the holy and righteous would resist our taking their soul. What we have done and continue to do is plant agendas in the hearts of the leaders of every society so we can make inroads into every person's thoughts, values, and beliefs without their awareness of our strategy. Just as we wanted, the virus has slowly eaten away the soul of those people we select. After the soul has been eaten away, although the body is alive, we will have retained control over the body and mind. From our viewpoint, our control over the soulless has made the final push nothing short of a "pushover" if you would excuse the phraseology.

Youth Leaders

One of our methods has been to infect the leaders of youth. We have been extremely effective in getting into school systems, into youth organizations, and into television and radio productions. The music and morals of young people are now virtually under our control. The fragmented and horrible sights and sounds now so popular among the youth were all our doing. Young people now love the horrible. It is good to have young people love horrible sights and sounds because young people will help bring into the world our final horror of horrors.

We have infected adults who work with young people so the young people will be receptive to the soul death virus as we spread the virus around the world. By infecting the adults and killing their soul, we have guaranteed our future domination of the world.

Adult Population

There are also vast segments of the adult population who are now under our control. Fifty years ago, we brought the soul virus out into the open. We began to reduce the level of conscience and level of morality in the population at large. We began this level of attack in high schools and on college campuses because we knew these young people would be the trend-setters for the next generation. As we presented temptations to high school and college students in the 1950's and 1960’s, millions fell at our feet. We were delighted with the results. Now, these former students have become parents and grandparents. Our soul eating virus has been passed on to the next generation with no resistance. Questions of morality and conduct are no longer a problem for us because we have eliminated moral codes.

The Church

Our next plan of attack was upon the church. The plan of attack was two-fold. First, we wanted to present worldly temptations to the clergy and the lay people in a most indirect fashion. This approach and attack upon the church was chosen because as ministers fell to temptation they would never reveal their fall in public. This need to hide sinful behavior gives us easier access to their souls. Second, for those clergy who did not fall to temptation we wanted to stir up discontent in their heart and in their flock. We did not believe we could attack religious people head-on, so we decided to gradually increase the level of personal discontent within the clergy and laity. Our thinking was that as more and more clergy became discontented for any reason, our opportunity to take advantage of the discontent would expand proportionally. Our plans and the results have exceeded our expectations.

We knew the church, the laity, and the clergy were vulnerable in the area of money. We systematically increased the level of discontent within the church by glamorizing church bigness, by whispering words of discontent about clergy salaries in the ears of the clergy. We made money the central issue upon which the church must focus. As a side strategy, we consistently lowered the value of money so more money would be needed to take care of church expenses. As our money-based soul virus has infected the church, we have seen profoundly positive results. The falling away of ministers has taken place at a record pace. Congregations both large and small are focusing more and more on size in numbers and size in their finances. We have convinced the clergy they have made financial progress. What we have also been able to accomplish is blinding the clergy to the cost of this financial progress. Because no one in the clergy is willing to admit there is a cost to financial progress, nor are they willing to admit we have infected the clergy with the soul virus, we have been able to score a direct hit on the church. The infected clergy are no longer as concerned with being Christ-like. Now they are more concerned with the numbers and money of the church, which is where we want them. We now have infected clergy who do not resist temptation. We now have clergy who are more consumed with self and self-interest than the interests of God. We now have clergy who are more interested in getting paid than making a sacrifice. We have produced clergy who are more concerned with making financial progress for the clergy than making progress for the Creator. What a delight for us to see the darkness roll into the church without even a whimper of a complaint.

The Remaining Few

Our last hurdle is the remaining few. These kinds are the silent and small people who pray to their Christ as if their Christ hears them or cares about them. We have plans for these people. If these people do not come over to our side, we will deal with them in a more direct manner. If, after dealing with them in a more direct fashion, the remaining few are still not cowering before us, then we will put them into detention camps and they will see the truth. After they are in the camps and are getting hungry, we will promise them eternal life here on earth because we can and will deliver eternal life to them. There will be no need for the remaining few to die because our maximum leader can give every person an eternal life. In addition, we will give them wealth and power. We will heal their sicknesses. We will take away their pain. Anything they want, they can have. All they have to do is bow down to our beautiful maximum leader. Our goal is to reduce the remaining few to the remaining none and it will not be difficult because these souls are ripe for the picking.

Relax

If this essay has caused you to be worried or concerned, then just relax. You do not have any reason to be concerned if you join us. If you decide not to join us, relax because after all, this essay is just fiction. The soul virus is not real. There is no organized force at work to eat away the soul. So you can just relax and go about your daily routine. This essay is just to entertain you. It should not frighten you into doing anything. Relax, take it easy, let the good times roll. Why worry about human souls? Why worry about even your own soul? Go ahead, relax. It's just a story.

John 3:19 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. (NIV)

This facetious story first appeared in February, 2007, in the Virtual Church web site at http://www.findthepower.com

 

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Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (RSV) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, Revised Standard Version of the Bible, Copyright © 1952 [2nd edition, 1971] by the Division of Christian Education of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Entire contents copyright © 1999 - 2010 by Rev. Patrick Kelly, All rights reserved.
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Shepherd's Care Ministries author and webmaster, Rev. Patrick Kelly, is affiliated through ministerial ordination with Church of God Ministries, Anderson IN 46018