A letter from Mr. Iam Dead, a recently departed facetious person of
Just wanted to let you know I died a few days ago and I went through
my life review with The Judge. The way things came out, I definitely
lived life my way. Yes, in my life, I did it all my way.
When I was young and healthy, I had premarital sex, two girls had
babies, and I bragged about it to my buddies. I never had contact with
the girls or the kids until the lawyers got me for the support and then
I never saw the girls or the kids. In my life, I did it my way.
When I got married the first time, I ignored my wife in favor of what
I wanted and needed. I put myself first all the time because my goal was
to always take care of number one. My wife left me after a few years.
Yes, I did it my way.
I got married again to another woman, she left me too. Same reasons,
same scenario, same result. I did it my way.
I lived with a woman and had two kids with her. We never did get
married. On the weekends, I liked to drink beer and go out with the
guys. One of my sons was recently caught shoplifting. I did it my way.
I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day from the time I was fifteen. I
recently died of lung cancer. The second boy I fathered to the last
woman I lived with just graduated from high school without me being
there. Not that he cared much because I never cared much for him. Yes, I
did it my way.
I bounced around from one job to the next because I never bothered to
get any formal education. Books and reading were not my style. I always
went for the babes and beer. I never really had a career in anything
because for me, there were other priorities than getting a job or
growing into a career. Yes, I did it my way.
I used to joke about my sexual exploits in front of my two boys. Both
of them took after me and they have fathered kids like I did but those
kids were aborted. I did it my way.
Whenever the need arose I didn't mind lying or shading the truth.
After all, most of the time no one found out. When someone did find out
I usually weaseled my way out of it. Occasionally I would tell a whopper
and I'd joke my way out of it. The woman and the boys would get
embarrassed about it sometimes but they caught on and they started lying
and shading the truth too. Yes, I did it my way.
Your church was around the corner from me. I remember you would stop
by once in a while. You were a nice guy but I really didn't have much
use for churches. Church and God always cramped my style because I
always wanted to live life my way.
I had two paternity suits filed against me that I lost from the two
kids I fathered when I was young. I tried to get out of paying the child
support and I went on the road for awhile so they wouldn't know where I
was but eventually I had to pay up because they found me. I never had
contact with either of those kids. I found out through a friend of one
of the mother's that one kid is in prison and another is a drug addict.
Yes, I did it my way.
I did some jail time for public intox and shoplifting. Good thing
they never found out what I really did. I will say one thing, I never
murdered anybody. I hurt a few people by ripping off their stuff but I
never murdered anybody. The way I figured it, if you were too dumb to
protect your stuff, I could take it from you because you were too stupid
to take care of it. Yes, I did it my way.
I had a lot scrapes in life. I had a lot of hard times. I hurt a few
people and a few people hurt me. However, I didn't care who I hurt or
how much I hurt them because they all deserved to get what they got. I
learned that if you don't get them they will get you first so you got to
be fast and live with a big fist. Everyone gets what they deserve in the
end. I just hope now that I don't get what I deserve because I always
wanted to do it my way.
This life review thing I just went through was not an easy thing to
take. I was shown all the hurt I put on people. I got to experience the
hurt, pain, and disappointment I inflicted on others. Now I'm sorry.
Before, when I was alive in the body, I didn't care. Now I care. I don't
know what The Judge will decide to do with me. I hope He goes easy. I've
had to stand before many a judge in my life with all the scrapes I been
in. I like the judge that will be lenient and bend the rules a little. A
judge will give you a second chance sometimes. That is when I can get by
with more stuff and not have to pay for what I did. The judge I like
least is the kind that always goes by the book or by the law. With that
kind, you always know you are going to really get what you really
If I have to stand before The Judge, I may not be able to get things
to go my way. This Judge always wants people to do things His way. When
I was alive in the body, I didn't care much for Him. Now I see things
differently. Problem is that now may be too late. Maybe you could
circulate this letter around to other people who want to do things their
way instead of His way. My life would have been a lot better if I had
not always wanted to do everything my way.
Mr. Iam Dead
James 5:5 You have spent your years here on earth having fun,
satisfying your every whim, and now your fat hearts are ready for the
James 5:5 You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You
have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter. 6 You have condemned
and murdered innocent men, who were not opposing you. (NIV)
1st Corinthians 13:5 It (love) is not rude, it is not