I hate God. I
was in an accident and my face is irreparably scarred for life. People
stare at me. I cannot get a decent job. My spouse divorced me. My kids
want nothing to do with me. I live in shame and humiliation. I hate God
because of what He has done to me. Any advice?
I want to start by telling you what I believe to be
the truth about God. I do not believe God caused your accident. I do not
believe God scarred your face. I do not believe God is in the heart of
people who stare at you without any compassion or love. I do not believe
God was in the heart of your wife when she divorced you. I do not
believe God has had enough of an influence in the life of your children.
I also believe God is not in your heart now because of what has happened
to you. I believe Satan is the cause of all your adversities. I believe
Satan is the dominant power in the life of all the people in your life
who do not love you and who do not have compassion for you.
Having said the above, many people in the Christian
faith will tell you God controls all things and makes all things happen.
If God controls all things and makes all things happen, then God is a
psychotic and sadistic being who delights in the suffering of human
beings. I firmly believe, and this belief is backed up by scripture,
that we have an evil enemy and our evil enemy is Satan. At any moment
our evil enemy (Satan) can kill us or kill the ones we love. In human
terms, if we had a sniper outside our home and the sniper was ready,
willing, able, and desired to kill us, we would not venture outside our
house because we would be paralyzed with fear. Remember the sniper
? People were terrified to go outside their homes. If people came to
realize how much of an enemy we have in Satan, attitudes toward God and
toward others would drastically change for the better. So, I do not
believe God caused any bad thing to happen to you.
If you accept what I believe, then you will also
have to accept responsibility for how you respond to what Satan has done
to you. When you begin to accept responsibility for how you respond to
your adversity, you can then begin to actually do something about your
adversity. When you begin to accept responsibility for your response to
your accident, you begin the healing process. Many things happen to us
outside of our control. However, we can control our response to
everything that happens to us. When we control our response to our
adversities, we begin to have power over the circumstances of our life.
When we have power, we are capable of starting and maintaining enormous
healing in our life. If we choose not to respond to our adversities but
instead we let our adversities determine our responses, then we are
powerless. In every trauma in our life, we have a chance to be great for
God. When we are great for God, God is great for us in return. When we
are great for God, God will be great for us by giving us healing,
wholeness, and wellness in our heart and soul.
Let's look at what Satan wants in your pain and
suffering. The last thing Satan wants is for you to take responsibility
and take charge of your responses. If Satan has his way in your life,
you will continue to hate God and you will continue to be absolutely
miserable every day of your life. If Satan has his way, you will remain
powerless like you are now. However, if God has His way in your life,
you will come to understand God had no part in your accident and you
will come to understand God wants to be the main healing force in your
life. God wants you to be free of your trauma. God wants you to be free
of your shame and humiliation. God wants you to be free of your trauma
so you can reach out in God's love to Him and to others in the world.
Satan was not only the real cause of your accident,
but Satan will also continue to produce the most horrible of miseries in
your life until you die. If Satan can get you to despise God enough,
long enough, then Satan will welcome you into the pits of hell when you
die after Satan has kept you in the pits of hell while you are alive on
Let me tell you the bold and unvarnished truth
here. When you are out with people, in public, and you experience your
shame and humiliation, Satan is having his way with you by making you
into a selfish human being. You feel your shame and humiliation because
you are selfishly concerned about how others perceive you and what
others think of you. Feeling shame and humiliation is normal because
being selfish is normal. However, being selfish is still wrong, even
though being selfish is normal. Even for people who have suffered
traumatic events, selfishness is still wrong. What God wants from you is
for you to lose your selfishness and to begin to see more of the people
in the world than you see now. Truthfully, you do not see anyone in the
world because living in your trauma has made you want to run away and
hide. As you are running away to hide, you are ignoring other people. As
you run away, you are ignoring the pain and suffering of others,
ignoring the hopes and dreams of others, and ignoring the wants and
needs of others. God wants you to stop being selfish and when you stop
being selfish, you will begin to see people. When you stop being
selfish, you will begin to heal. When you drop the selfishness, you will
begin to see people desperately need you. You will see people need you a
whole lot more than you need them to be approving of you and loving
toward you. Serving others, giving others attention, and being of
service to others helps you build healing bridges to others for life.
This does not mean your physical scars will go away. This does not mean
you will get a positive reaction from every person you meet. However,
what serving God does do is open up the universe to you and in this new
open universe you will find the healing love of God in every minute.
What serving God does is heal all your emotional scars created by your
accident and the aftermath.
No words of mine can heal you, no matter how much I
want to bring healing to you. However, you can bring healing to yourself
by unconditionally loving God and asking Christ to be your savior,
friend, and Lord.
In Christ's Love And Grace,
Rev. Patrick Kelly
story first appeared in April, 2006, in the Virtual Church
web site at http://www.findthepower.com