The following conversation between a believer and God is not meant to
represent a specific theology or theological truth. It represents one
believer's struggle and the response that believer represents as God's
truth for that believer and that believer alone.
morning Lord, I love you.
morning, my son, I love you back. Do you know how much I love you? Do
you know the depth and breadth of how much love I have pouring over you?
I know what you came to talk about, but do you know how much I love you
and do you know that you know?
Lord. I know I do not fully realize your love. I am so besieged at the
moment I don't know much of anything. Things are tougher than normal.
The pain and suffering are worse. There are many times I do not want to
move on. Of course, I will always do your will but there are times I do
not know whether I can or not.
I know what is going on in you. I know more than anyone. Do you know how
much I love you? Do you know how important you are to me? Do you know
how much of a light you are to the world? Do you know how much I need
you? Do you know how much I look out for you and help you? Do you know
any of this at all?
Lord. I do not know any of this. What am I to do? How do I deal with
everything? How do I cope?
you know how much I love you? Do you know how much I forgive you? Do you
know the result of your faith? Do you know how the darkness hates you?
Do you know how much I protect you? Do you know how much I am with you
Lord. I do not know any of this. Are we playing the question game here?
you know how much power I have given you? Do you know the wisdom I have
given you? Do you know how important your life is to others? Do you
understand the importance of carrying your burdens and moving forward
every day? Do you understand how important it is that you bring your
prayer list to me every day? Do you know how much joy it is for me to
see you work?
must have a lot of joy. I work all the time. I seem to have no choice
about the working part.
I have great joy over you.
am getting the message but when I get in these low spots where I cannot
see anything ahead or behind me, when I am totally blinded by all the
burdens, what do I do?
need to answer the questions. You know the answers already. In the
depths of your soul you know the answers to the questions I have asked
you here. You can't even stand to read about my suffering on the cross
because you are so enmeshed in my love. You don't like Good Friday. You
see the truth. You know the truth. You even live the truth. You know all
want to change topics. I want to change topics because I do have some
idea as to the answers of these questions you have asked me. But what
good will the answers be if I keep on suffering like this? I mean, every
day things get worse and right now I don't see any relief.
I know how things are. I am with you all the time. I am within you all
the time. I know more about how things are with you than you do. I
realize you do not know the full answer to the questions I have asked
you. I asked you these questions, not as questions for you to answer but
to show you that your journey has meaning and purpose. Your life has
meaning and purpose. I am sorry you have to carry such a cross. I wish
things were different. But things are not good in the world and the
world needs you to keep going.
do I do about these horrid low spots?
have to keep praying. Keep working. Work is the great therapy. Rest a
little but work a lot. Sound familiar?
sound like my dad. I miss him.
I know you do. I gave you a vision of him the other day to show you he
is young again and in great joy.
let's not fool around here. Your suffering is not my choosing or my
doing. The influence I try to put upon your life is my choosing and is
my doing. I cannot make you or force you to do anything. All I can do is
love you and give you what you need.
think I need more than I am getting.
it is a deception. You really do know all the answers. It is a deception
to have access to the answers and not be able to find the truth or at
least find enough of the truth to keep you going. You really do know all
the answers. One of the main purposes of your suffering put upon you by
Satan is to keep you from fully knowing the answers. The suffering makes
you think about other things than the answers. The suffering distracts
you from the answers. The suffering diverts your attention away from me.
Let me assure you, the game is not being played fairly. Your suffering
and the suffering of millions of others is the result of the game not
being played fairly. In a sense, you are a victim but you are also a
victor. Every time you think you cannot go on but you push ahead anyway,
you win and I win. Let me assure you now of one thing. There will be a
leveling out. Hell will pay in the end. There is an end to this game.
The clock is ticking down. The clock is running out. One of the
questions I left out of our Q and A thing was do you know how much I
hate suffering and how much I hate the adversary. I do not hate in human
terms, but I have a holy fire burning that will rain down on the
darkness. Make no mistake about it. The game is not over but the final
outcome has been carved in stone from the very beginning. Go back and
read the questions. Keep in mind the game has been decided. I have a
wrath. My wrath is sometimes a mystery but I do have a wrath against the
darkness. The darkness is not benign in your life or anyone else's life.
I burn against the darkness. I will give you a straight answer here. In
your low points, do everything you can to strike back against the
darkness. Attack the darkness. Attack the spiritual darkness. There are
some answers I cannot give you but attacking the darkness is a hint. I
love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.
love you, Lord.
love you back, my son. Stay with me. At all costs, stay with me.