The following conversation between a believer and God is not meant to represent a specific
theology or theological truth. It represents one believer's struggle and the response that
believer represents as God's truth for that believer and that believer alone.
I love you Lord.
I love you back my son.
When I am in pain I can pray but nothing happens. The pain does not go away. I
remain in the same state. I am still bombarded by stuff that puts me against the wall.
When I pray, which is not very good at these times, where are you?
I am here for you. I am listening. I am caring. I am understanding.
Sure, easy for you to say. I mean, like, right now, I am really being hammered.
Why don't you stop this punishment?
I will not. It is not my will to stop this. You are in the palm of my hand and I am
with you, but pain must continue for a little while. I know you want reasons. It is all a
matter of soul survival. If I let you out of this prison you are in then you will escape
from me. You will do your will and not my will. Don't you see that even in this
punishment, as you call it, you can do my will. You would not be writing these words. You
would not be putting these thoughts down for others. Others suffer punishment as a result
of their own doings. You are suffering as a result of what Satan wants to put on you and
as a result of my will that you use what you are given. Don't you understand that I want
you to use the suffering you are given to glorify my name?
I do not like this.
Yes, I know you do not like this. However, you are battling hard for me. You
are fighting the good fight. When you die, because you did my will and not your own, you
will see why. You do not see them. You do not see the affected souls that have been, are
now, and will be touched by your life. Everyone should be in he business of touching souls
for me. Imagine the world of difference in the world if every person on earth lived their
life dedicated to touching the souls of others in my name. Do you feel my power? Do you
feel my love?
No Lord, at this moment all I feel is the pain and suffering.
Tune in a little bit. Give me a chance. Later today, come back and you will
see that I am directing what you are thinking. I am giving you the words like you have
prayed for me to do. When you have these times of pain and suffering, try to be more at
peace with me and within yourself. The anguish you generate when you suffer makes things a
lot worse. It is a secret weapon of Satan. Satan not only inflicts pain upon people, He
also turns their heart into a heart of anguish. Remember that I am using this time in you
just as you are trying to use this time for me. I know you want to do more for me but do
not worry so much about the time. It is the quality of what you do for me that counts. I
don't use a watch. I don't use a stop watch. We are not doing a time and motion study to
see how much you can do for me in the shortest amount of time.
I have pockets of doubt. I have areas where my faith is shot through and I have
Doubts are natural. If you had no doubt, you would have no faith because
faith should be activated when you have doubt. What you really want is hard, cold
knowledge about me. However, where there is hard, cold knowledge in your reality, there is
no love. Love is of the heart and spirit. Knowledge is of the mind. You love from your
heart, where your doubt is. Doubt is the result of my being supernatural. Doubt is the
result of the separation of the natural and supernatural. I am more glorified when you
love me even when you have doubts than I would be glorified if you had hard knowledge.
Do you laugh?
I have a sense of humor. Look at a duck. Look at some of the goofiness I have created.
Pretty funny isn't it?
Can you cut me a little slack and moderate this pain?
Maybe. I don't know. It depends upon you.
I have seen you grasping the world and violently shaking it? What does this
It means I am angry. Why would I not be angry? Look at the mess that mankind
has made. The more mankind has come to know about how things operate the farther away man
gets from me. Why pray if you can get something fixed with human hands? There will be a
day of wrath. I have been intervening to help people of the earth. At some point, sin will
overtake human life. Pride, lust for power, lust for blood, lust for control and money,
will overtake most of the people of the earth. When this happens, then wrath will be
visited upon this planet. Each person brings their own wrath upon themselves. I get credit
here because I created the system so to speak. The wrath that incurs in an individual life
is the result of what that individual says, does, thinks, and feels. In terrible
misfortune, it may seem that I have poured wrath out on a person but it is Satan who does
terrible things. The wrath that torments the soul is the wrath you make for yourself. This
is difficult to accept because everyone wants me to be their sole and soul provider. I am
a person's soul provider, but I have given each person a measure of power to be their sole
provider. If you use your soul, heart, mind, and spirit that I gave you as you are
supposed to do, then even in tribulation you are spared from any kind of wrath. If you
truly become my child, Satan may shoot you full of holes in the body, but you will go down
singing my praises. What a triumph this is for me to see. When you can truly praise me in
the hour of your greatest pain, you have totally and unequivocally defeated Satan. I judge
everyone fairly. I do not compare one person to another. What is seen is not always what
is there. One person may look holy and devout. Another person may look like an unrepentant
sinner. I do not compare people to one another. Each person is judged based upon what I
What about the innocents? Why are they not spared in tribulation?
Satan wants them dead. That is why they are murdered, raped, beaten, abused,
or what have you. Satan delights in suffering. Satan is and delights in as much evil being
done to as many people as possible. Satan is the enemy. Satan is the mortal enemy. It is
truly a matter of life and death when you talk about Satan. Satan delights in suffering.
Satan delights in making and inflicting suffering.
Why don't you help the innocents?
I do help them but this is a mystery.
Do you help a soul after the soul has separated from the body at death?
It depends upon what the soul has done in the body.
We are getting into touchy theological areas here.
Yes. Someday soon, there will be no more theology because Christ will give
every answer. Prepare to be shocked. I say prepare to be shocked with some humor. You must
remember that theological ideas are ideas about a being who is invisible to the eye,
silent to the ear, untouchable with the hand, and so on. Theologians must try to equate my
unknown nature to the known world. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes they are not right.
However, I delight in having them as part of my flock whether they are right or wrong for
they are trying to figure me out. Sometimes I tease them with bits of truth just to keep
them on their toes. I love them.
Thank you Lord, I love you
Thank you my son. I love you back.